The Cleaning Crew

  In my earlier days of being a mom, I had many ideas related to parenting that age, time, and family growth have turned upside down.  One of those ideas was about house cleaning.  I think that the fact that our home was small, our children were young, and there weren’t very many of them; made me think that I could handle cleaning the house by myself.  I was also a bit of a perfectionist and thought that nobody knew how to clean like I did.   Cleaning took all day, I expected the kids to hang out in the basement until I finished, and I hated to stop working for menial little tasks like making lunch.   The end result was a truly dazzlingly clean house, an exhausted housewife, and neglected hungry children; who were uncertain of where they could step in their own home.  Yet, I clung stubbornly to this insanity for a good many years.

  At some point; I don’t remember when, it must have just become too much.  I was forced to admit that Dwight had been right all along; the kids needed to pitch in and help.  I’d like to tell you that adding the extra hands to my workload was a dream come true and that everything  fell right into place, but alas; my friends, this is not a fairy tale.  It turns out that children need to be taught, encouraged, …bribed,…threatened…, you know; whatever it takes.

  Take a journey back to last Saturday morning with me.  Dwight was out plowing and Josh had left early for Science Olympiad.  I knocked on Ellynne and Maddie’s door around 9:30.  ” We have to clean the house girls, let’s get up now and work together.”  Muffled groans came from under the blankets.  ” Char, I need you to empty all the trash cans and pick your room up so that we can dust and vacuum.”  “Okay, I have to finish my breakfast first,”  he said.  ( This was a stall tactic; watch and see)  “Kate and Julia, I want you girls to finish your breakfast, clean up your room, and start dusting,”  I said, speaking to the last members of our cleaning crew.  “Sam and Naomi, you kids go play down stairs.”  ( Old habits die hard)

   10 minutes later, Ellynne made her way downstairs.   “You know I have to work today, right?”  she asked.  “What time?”   I asked.  “11,” she answered.  Well, can you please help as much as possible until you have to leave?”  I asked, “You have an hour.”  “Less than an hour, I need to get ready and be there by 11.”  You see where this is headed, right?

  Maddie came down a short time later, looking way less than cheerful.  “Maddie, we’ve lived in the house all week and now it’s time to put things back together, sometimes we just have to work,”  I said,  teaching her good work ethic.  She groaned, rolled her eyes, and said, “I have to eat breakfast, Mom!” 

  About this time, Julia came down to let me know that;  not only was Charlie not cleaning up his room, he was sitting on the edge of his bed playing  the Wii.  “Go back and work on your own room-  Charlie!”  “Get busy and pick up your room, and don’t stick everything in Sam’s underwear drawer!”  You learn their tricks.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Kate trying to fade into the woodwork.  “Kate, is your room picked up?”  I asked.  When she nodded, I told her to get a dust rag.  In slow motion, her chin dropped down to her chest, her shoulders slumped, and she began slowly and dramatically falling down the stairs.  As she went, she moaned.  “I always have to clean every day!”   “Nobody ever does any work except me!”   “I hate cleaning, I always have to clean,”    “I never get to do anything, because I all I ever do is work!”  She landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, wearily got up, stumbled over to the sofa, and fell limply onto it.  A real life Cinderella.  “Come on Kate, Mom needs your help, maybe if you do a good job, we can go to McDonald’s for lunch!”  I bribed.

  Ellynne whisked by me; on her way out the door.  Julia came back to let me know that Charlie was still playing the Wii.  Maddie actually did start to clean and Kate moaned on. 

  I went up the stairs and threatened Charlie.  This worked, a short time later my trash cans were empty and word has it that his room was picked up.  Charlie, himself, stealthly disappeared from the home front within minutes of finishing these chores.  While I cleaned up the kitchen and folded  laundry, Julia and Kate dusted; Kate moaned and dusted, and Maddie picked up her room, cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed and mopped the floors. 

  By the time I left for work, the place had been overhauled and readied for another week.  It’s Tuesday afternoon, there’s more clean laundry waiting on the couch to be folded, and there’s more to be washed in the back room.  Wood chips are scattered on the carpet in front of the fireplace, and a thin layer of ash lies on top of the antique Mason jars, lining our mantel.  Come Saturday we’ll try again. 

Send me all of your “Get the kids to pitch in,” advice, as you can see; I need it! : )